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Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering silmite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king!
Dennis: Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
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More from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Head Knight of Ni: We are no longer the Knights who Say Ni!
Knight of Ni: Ni!
Knights of Ni: Shh!
Head Knight of Ni: We are now the Knights who Say… ekki-ekki-ekki-ekki-ptang-zoom-boing-mrowr!
King Arthur: Well, Knights of… Knights who up till recently said ‘Ni…’
King of Swamp Castle: When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. And that one sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, and then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that’s what you’re going to get, Son, the strongest castle in all of England.
King Arthur: We have ridden the length and bredth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Guard: What, ridden on a horse?
King Arthur: Yes.
Guard: You’re using coconuts!
King Arthur: What?
Guard: You’ve got two empty ‘alves of coconuts and you’re bangin’ em together!
Sir Robin: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
King of Swamp Castle: We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.
Prince Herbert: But I don’t like her.
King of Swamp Castle: Don’t like her? What’s wrong with her. She’s beautiful, she’s rich, she’s got huge … tracts of land.