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King of Swamp Castle: When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. And that one sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, and then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that’s what you’re going to get, Son, the strongest castle in all of England.
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More from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Knights: We are the knights who say ‘Ni!’
Dennis: Oh, but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Sir Bedevere: Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise – not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!
Narrator: In the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat Robin’s minstrels…and there was much rejoicing.
Dennis: If I went ’round sayin’ I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!