King of Swamp Castle: When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. And that one sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, and then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that’s what you’re going to get, Son, the strongest castle in all of England.

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More from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Bedevere: And how do you burn witches?
Crowd: With more witches!
Bedevere: No,no,no…And why do witches burn?
Peasant: Because…there made…of…wood?
Bedevere: Precisely, so how do we know if she’s made fo wood?
Peasant: Biuld a bridge out of her!
Bedevere: Ah, but can you also not build a bridge out of stone?

Arthur: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
French Soldier: No, now go away before I taunt you a second time.

Bedevere: What also floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Grape gravy.
Peasant 1: Cherries.
Peasant 2: Mum
Peasant 3: Churches, churches.
Peasant 2: Lead, lead.
Arthur: A duck.

Galahad: Look, let me face the peril!
Lancelot: No, no, it’s much too perilous!

Tim: Well he’s got huge sharp, eh, he can leap about, look at the bones!