French Soldier: I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Share with your friends

More from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Woman: Dennis! There’s some lovely filth down here!

Sir Robin: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!

King of Swamp Castle: When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. And that one sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, and then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that’s what you’re going to get, Son, the strongest castle in all of England.

King Arthur: We have ridden the length and bredth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Guard: What, ridden on a horse?
King Arthur: Yes.
Guard: You’re using coconuts!
King Arthur: What?
Guard: You’ve got two empty ‘alves of coconuts and you’re bangin’ em together!

Old man: I’m not quite dead yet!