French Soldier: I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Share with your friends

More from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Dennis: Oh, but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Bridgekeeper: Stop. What… is your name?
Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your quest?
Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue. No, yel…

Narrator: In the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat Robin’s minstrels…and there was much rejoicing.

Dennis: If I went ’round sayin’ I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!

Sir Bedevere: Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise – not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!