Mona: You have such a head for knowing!
Cosmo Castorini: Birds fly to the stars – I guess.
Loretta Castorini: What am I going to tell him?
Cosmo Castorini: Tell him the truth. They find out anyway.
Rose: Have I been a good wife?
Cosmo Castorini: Yeah.
Rose: I want you to stop seeing her.
Cosmo Castorini: Okay.
Rose: And go to confession.
Ronny Cammareri: I ain’t no freakin’ monument to justice! I lost my hand! I lost my bride! Johnny has his hand! Johnny has his bride! You want me to take my heartache, put it away and forget?
Cosmo Castorini: It looks stupid. It’s a pinky ring. It’s a man’s ring.
Loretta Castorini: It’s temporary.
Cosmo Castorini: Everything is temporary. That don’t excuse nothin’.
Perry: Pardon me folks. That was just a very attractive mental patient.
Cosmo Castorini: What’s the matter, Pop?
Grandfather: I’m confused!
Cosmo Castorini: There are three kinds of pipe. There is what you have, which is garbage and you can see where that’s gotten you. Then there’s bronze, which is very good unless something goes wrong. And something always goes wrong. And then there’s copper, which is the only pipe I use. It costs money. It costs money because it saves money.
Rose: I’m too old for you.
Perry: I’m too old for me; that’s my predicament.
Rose: Now he’s going to play that damn Vicki Carr record, and when he comes to bed he won’t touch me.
Cosmo Castorini: You’ll have your eyes opened for you, my friend.
Johnny: I have my eyes open.
Cosmo Castorini: Oh yeah? Well, stick around. Don’t go on any long trips.
Johnny: I don’t know what you mean.
Cosmo Castorini: I know you don’t. That’s the point. I’ll say no more.
Johnny: You haven’t said anything!
Cosmo Castorini: And that’s all I’m saying.
Ronny Cammareri: I love you.
Loretta Castorini: Snap out of it!
Ronny Cammareri: Chrissy, over on the wall, bring me the big knife. I want to cut my throat.
Johnny: In time, you’ll see that this is the best thing.
Loretta Castorini: In time, you’ll drop dead and I’ll come to your funeral in a red dress.
Rose: I just want you to know that no matter what you do, you’re still gonna die.
Cosmo Castorini: Thank you, Rose.
Ronny Cammareri: This was painted by Marc Chagall. And, as you can see, he was a very great artist.
Loretta Castorini: It’s a little gaudy, don’t you think?
Ronny Cammareri: Well, he was havin’ some fun.
Cosmo Castorini: I can’t sleep any more. It’s too much like death.
Cosmo Castorini: I don’t like him.
Rose: You’re not going to marry him, Cosmo. Do you love him, Loretta?
Loretta Castorini: No.
Rose: Good. When you love them they drive you crazy because they know they can.
Grandfather: La bella luna! The moon brings the woman to the man. Capice?
Ronny Cammareri: You ruined my life.
Loretta Castorini: That’s impossible! It was ruined when I got here! You ruined my life!
Loretta Castorini: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been two months since my last confession.
Father: What sins have you to confess?
Loretta Castorini: Twice I took the name of the Lord in vain, once I slept with the brother of my fiancee, and once I bounced a check at the liquor store, but that was really an accident.
Father: Then it’s not a sin. But… what was that second thing you said, Loretta?
Cosmo Castorini: A man understands one day that his life is built on nothing, and that’s a bad, crazy day.
Rose: Your life is not built on nothing! Te amo.
Rose: Old man, you give those dogs another piece of my food and I’m gonna kick you ’til you’re dead!
Rose: Why do men chase women?
Johnny: Well, there’s a Bible story… God… God took a rib from Adam and made Eve. Now maybe men chase women to get the rib back. When God took the rib, he left a big hole there, where there used to be something. And the women have that. Now maybe, just maybe, a man isn’t complete as a man without a woman.