Bill Lumbergh: Oh, and remember, next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

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Peter: I can’t believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We’re looking up money laundering in a dictionary.

Bob Porter: Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter: I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.

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Samir: We’re new to it though.

Peter: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I’ll tell you what I’d do man: two chicks at the same time, man.

Peter: It’s a problem of motivation, alright? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don’t see another dime, so where’s the motivation? And here’s another thing, I have eight different bosses right now.
Bob Porter: Eight?
Peter: Eight Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That’s my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.