Bill Lumbergh: Oh, and remember, next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

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Milton: The ratio of people to cake is too big.

Milton: I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she’s filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I’m collating so I don’t see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven.

Michael: Yeah, well at least your name isn’t Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know there’s nothing wrong with that name.
Michael: There was nothing wrong with it until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm… well why don’t you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael: No way. Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks.

Peter: I can’t believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We’re looking up money laundering in a dictionary.

Bob Porter: Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter: I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.