Colonel Edwards: This is the most fantastic story I’ve ever heard.
Jeff Trent: And every word of it’s true, too.
Colonel Edwards: That’s the fantastic part of it.

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More from Plan 9 from Outer Space

Colonel Edwards: Why is it so important that you want to contact the governments of our earth?
Eros: Because of death. Because all you of Earth are idiots!

Jeff Trent: Modern women. They’ve been like that all down through the ages.

Eros: You do not need guns.
Jeff Trent: Maybe we think we do.

Paula Trent: Saucers? You mean the kind from up there?

Paula Trent: Now, don’t you worry. The saucers are up there. The graveyard is out there. But I’ll be locked up safely in there.