Colonel Edwards: This is the most fantastic story I’ve ever heard.
Jeff Trent: And every word of it’s true, too.
Colonel Edwards: That’s the fantastic part of it.

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More from Plan 9 from Outer Space

Gravedigger: I don’t like hearing noises, especially when there ain’t supposed to be any.

Colonel Edwards: Why is it so important that you want to contact the governments of our earth?
Eros: Because of death. Because all you of Earth are idiots!