Colonel Edwards: This is the most fantastic story I’ve ever heard.
Jeff Trent: And every word of it’s true, too.
Colonel Edwards: That’s the fantastic part of it.

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More from Plan 9 from Outer Space

Criswell: Greetings, my friends. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future.

Criswell: The ever-beautiful flowers she had planted with her own hands became nothing more than the lost roses of her cheeks.