Susanna: You use me, you use Raymond, you use everybody.
Charlie: Using Raymond? Hey Raymond, am I using you? Am I using you Raymond?
Raymond: Yeah.
Charlie: Shut up! He is answering a question from a half hour ago!

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Charlie: What you have to understand is, four days ago he was only my brother in name. And this morning we had pancakes.

Charlie: You read The Twelfth Night?
Raymond: I don’t know. V-E-R-N.
Charlie: You read MacBeth?
Raymond: Yes.
Charlie: So you read all these stories and you don’t know if you read the book?

Raymond: Of course you can’t have pancakes without maple syrup.
Charlie: You bet your butt.
Raymond: Bet your butt.

Charlie: He’s not crazy, he’s not retarded but he’s here.
Dr. Bruner: He’s an autistic savant. People like him used to be called idiot savants. There’s certain deficiencies, certain abilities that impairs him.
Charlie: So he’s retarded.
Dr. Bruner: Autistic. There’s certain routines, rituals that he follows.
Charlie: Rituals, I like that.
Dr. Bruner: The way he eats, sleeps, walks, talks, uses the bathroom. It’s all he has to protect himself. Any break from this routine leaves him terrified.

Raymond: ‘Course, three minutes to Wapner.
Charlie: You’ll make it.
Raymond: Yeah.