Susanna: You use me, you use Raymond, you use everybody.
Charlie: Using Raymond? Hey Raymond, am I using you? Am I using you Raymond?
Raymond: Yeah.
Charlie: Shut up! He is answering a question from a half hour ago!

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Raymond: Of course I don’t have my underwear. I’m definitely not wearing my underwear.
Charlie: I gave you a fresh pair of mine to wear. Where are they?
Raymond: They’re in the pocket of my jacket. Here.
Charlie: I don’t want them back.
Raymond: These are not boxer shorts. Mine are boxer shorts. These are Hanes 32.
Charlie: Underwear is underwear, Ray.
Raymond: My boxer shorts have my name and it says Raymond.
Charlie: All right, when we pass the store, we’ll pick you up a pair of boxer shorts.
Raymond: I get my boxer shorts at K-Mart in Cincinatti.
Charlie: We’re not going back to Cincinatti, Ray, so don’t even start with that.

Raymond: C-H-A-R-L-I-E, my main man.

Charlie: I’m going to see you in 2 weeks. Now how many days is that before we’ll be together?
Raymond: 14 days from today, today’s Wednesday.
Charlie: Hours?
Raymond: 336 hours.
Charlie: Mystifying.
Raymond: Course that’s 20,160 minutes. 1,290,600 seconds.

Charlie: Raymond, what are you looking at? The ducks are over here. What are you looking at?
Raymond: I don’t know.

Doctor: Ray, do you want to stay and live with Charlie?
Raymond: Yeah.
Doctor: Or do you want to go back to Walbrook?
Raymond: Yeah.
Doctor: Which is it? Go back to Walbrook or stay with Charlie Babbitt?
Raymond: Go back to Walbrook, stay with Charlie Babbitt.