Raymond: ‘Course, three minutes to Wapner.
Charlie: You’ll make it.
Raymond: Yeah.

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Dr. Bruner: Raymond, wouldn’t you feel more relaxed in your favorite K-Mart clothes?
Charlie: Tell him, Ray.
Raymond: K-Mart sucks.
Dr. Bruner: Oh, I see.

Raymond: Definitely not.
Susanna: But we can watch TV here, we’re allowed.
Raymond: Wheel Of Fortune. Look at the studio filled with glamorous merchandise. Fabulous and exciting bonus prizes. Thousands of dollars in cash. Over $150,000 just waiting to be won as we present our big bonanza of cash on Wheel Of Fortune.

Charlie: What you have to understand is, four days ago he was only my brother in name. And this morning we had pancakes.

Charlie: You read The Twelfth Night?
Raymond: I don’t know. V-E-R-N.
Charlie: You read MacBeth?
Raymond: Yes.
Charlie: So you read all these stories and you don’t know if you read the book?

Raymond: Of course you can’t have pancakes without maple syrup.
Charlie: You bet your butt.
Raymond: Bet your butt.