Charlie: I’m sorry ma’am, I lied to you. I’m very sorry about that. That man right there is my brother and if he doesn’t get to watch ‘People’s Court’ in about 30 seconds, he’s gonna throw a fit right here on your porch. Now you can help me or you can stand there and watch it happen.

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Doctor: Raymond, do you know what autistic is?
Raymond: Yeah.
Doctor: You know that word?
Raymond: Yeah.
Doctor: Are you autistic?
Raymond: I don’t think so. No. Definitely not.

Raymond: We have pepperoni pizza for dinner Monday nights.
Susanna: Pizza? You get pizza in an institution?
Raymond: Monday night is Italian night.

Charlie: When I was a little kid and I got scared, the Rain Man would come and sing to me.
Susanna: Rain what?
Charlie: Oh you know, one of those imaginary childhood friends.
Susanna: What happened to him?
Charlie: Nothing, I just grew up.
Susanna: Not so much.

Raymond: Of course I don’t have my underwear. I’m definitely not wearing my underwear.
Charlie: I gave you a fresh pair of mine to wear. Where are they?
Raymond: They’re in the pocket of my jacket. Here.
Charlie: I don’t want them back.
Raymond: These are not boxer shorts. Mine are boxer shorts. These are Hanes 32.
Charlie: Underwear is underwear, Ray.
Raymond: My boxer shorts have my name and it says Raymond.
Charlie: All right, when we pass the store, we’ll pick you up a pair of boxer shorts.
Raymond: I get my boxer shorts at K-Mart in Cincinatti.
Charlie: We’re not going back to Cincinatti, Ray, so don’t even start with that.

Raymond: C-H-A-R-L-I-E, my main man.