Doctor: Raymond, do you know what autistic is?
Raymond: Yeah.
Doctor: You know that word?
Raymond: Yeah.
Doctor: Are you autistic?
Raymond: I don’t think so. No. Definitely not.

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Raymond: 82, 82, 82.
Charlie: 82 what?
Raymond: Toothpicks.
Charlie: There’s a lot more than 82 toothpicks, Ray.
Raymond: 246 total.
Charlie: How many?
Sally Dibbs: 250.
Charlie: Pretty close.
Sally Dibbs: There’s four left in the box.

Raymond: That’s my pen. That’s definitely my book.
Charlie: Well taking your book is not a serious injury!
Raymond: Serious injury book is a red book, that book is blue.
Charlie: Well forgive me, I’ve lost my secret decoder ring!

Raymond: Maple syrup is supposed to be on the table before the pancakes.
Charlie: Ray.
Raymond: Yeah?
Charlie: Ta da.
Raymond: Ha ha. Charlie Babbitt made a joke.

Charlie: Now casinos have house rules: they don’t like to lose. So you never show that you’re counting cards. That is the cardinal sin, Ray.
Raymond: Counting cards is bad.
Charlie: Yes.
Raymond: I like to drive slow on the driveway.
Charlie: If you get this right, Ray, you can drive anywhere you want as slow as you want.

Raymond: It’s definitely very small in here.
Charlie: Small, and safe. Don’t wanna miss the party. You know that, there’s a party in your honor Ray. When we get to LA, there’ll be a little custody hearing. Lawyers are setting it up right now. Know why there’s a party for you? Because you’re the $3,000,000 man.