Raymond: We have pepperoni pizza for dinner Monday nights.
Susanna: Pizza? You get pizza in an institution?
Raymond: Monday night is Italian night.

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Charlie: I’m gonna go take a celebration piss.

Raymond: 82, 82, 82.
Charlie: 82 what?
Raymond: Toothpicks.
Charlie: There’s a lot more than 82 toothpicks, Ray.
Raymond: 246 total.
Charlie: How many?
Sally Dibbs: 250.
Charlie: Pretty close.
Sally Dibbs: There’s four left in the box.

Raymond: That’s my pen. That’s definitely my book.
Charlie: Well taking your book is not a serious injury!
Raymond: Serious injury book is a red book, that book is blue.
Charlie: Well forgive me, I’ve lost my secret decoder ring!

Raymond: 97X, bam! The future of rock ‘n’ roll. 97X, bam! The future of rock ‘n’ roll. 97X, bam! The future of rock ‘n’ roll.
Charlie: Ray, enough already! Change the channel.
Raymond: 97X, bam! The future of rock ‘n’ roll. 97X, bam! The future of rock ‘n’ roll.

Charlie: Now casinos have house rules: they don’t like to lose. So you never show that you’re counting cards. That is the cardinal sin, Ray.
Raymond: Counting cards is bad.
Charlie: Yes.
Raymond: I like to drive slow on the driveway.
Charlie: If you get this right, Ray, you can drive anywhere you want as slow as you want.