Raymond: We have pepperoni pizza for dinner Monday nights.
Susanna: Pizza? You get pizza in an institution?
Raymond: Monday night is Italian night.

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Charlie: I’ll tell you a story about my father, that car in the garage, was off limits to me. He said it was a classic, it demands respect. One day, I’m a sophomore in high school, I bring home a report card, it’s almost all A’s so I go to the old man, ask him if I can take the car out as sort of a victory drive. He says no. So I stole the keys and snuck it out.
Susanna: You took the car with no permission? Why?
Charlie: Because I deserved it! Nothing I did was ever good enough for this guy. Don’t you understand, We’re on Columbia Parkway, four kids, and we get pulled over.
Susanna: Accident? What is pulled over?
Charlie: You know, siren, police. Can I finish? Okay so we’re taken to jail. The other kids’ fathers bail them out, mine left me there for two days.
Susanna: He left you in prison for two days? Were you scared?
Charlie: Yeah.

Charlie: I’m gonna let ya’ in on a little secret, Ray. K-Mart sucks.

Raymond: Definitely not.
Susanna: But we can watch TV here, we’re allowed.
Raymond: Wheel Of Fortune. Look at the studio filled with glamorous merchandise. Fabulous and exciting bonus prizes. Thousands of dollars in cash. Over $150,000 just waiting to be won as we present our big bonanza of cash on Wheel Of Fortune.