Jack: Goddamn it, I knew I should’ve listened to my mother. I could’ve been a cosmetic surgeon, five hundred thou a year, up to my neck in tits and ass.
Joan: What is all this?
Jack: All this? About five to life in the States, a couple of centuries down here.
Joan: Oh, marijuana.
Jack: Oh, you smoke it?
Joan: I went to college.
Jack Colton: What did you do, wake up this morning and say, “Today, I’m going to ruin a man’s life”?
(Jack chops the heels off of Joan’s shoes)
Joan: These were Italian.
Jack Colton: Now they’re practical.
Joan (voiceover): That was the end of Grogan… the man who killed my father, raped and murdered my sister, burned my ranch, shot my dog, and stole my Bible!
Gloria: Joanie, you are now a world-class hopeless romantic.
Joan Wilder: No, hopeful. Hopeful romantic.