Lloyd Dobler: I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you’re here at like the Gas ‘n’ Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?
Joe: By choice, man!
Diane: I have this theory of convergence, that good things always happen with bad things. I know you have to deal with them at the same time, but I just dont know why they have to happen at the same time. I just wish I could work out some schedule. Am I just babbling? Do you know what I mean?
Corey: Lloyd, listen to me, everything has changed. You had sex. No matter what you might think, nothing will ever be the same between you two. You might be 60, you might be walking down the street, and you’ll talk to her about something, whatever. But what you’ll be really thinking is: we had sex.
Corey: You’re not a guy.
Lloyd: I am.
Corey: No. The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don’t be a guy.
Diane: I just cant have any social life right now.
Lloyd: Don’t worry about it. We’re just having coffee. We’ll be anti-social.
Diane: Be friends?
Lloyd: Yeah. With potential.
Lloyd: Okay, how ya doing? I’m Lloyd, and we’re gonna watch the movie “Cucoon.” I’ve never actually seen it, but I heard its very good, it makes you happy. Its about a group of people who go to outer space…..hope I didn’t give anything away there.
Lloyd: You start out depressed, everything turns out a pleasant surprise.
Lloyd: Wait a minute. What did we just decide?
Diane: We decided….
Lloyd: Am I wrong? Did you just break up with me?
Lloyd: Sounded like you did.
Diane: No, we decided to be friends. I know its a terrible word.
Lloyd: If we’re friends, why can’t we see each other?
Diane: I think we should stop going out on dates.
Lloyd: Ohhh, I feel like a dick. You must think I’m a dick.
Diane: No, I don’t. I don’t.
Lloyd: Yeah, you do.
Diane: Lloyd, we shared the most intimate thing two people can share.
Lloyd: Yeah, you shared it with a dick.
Lloyd: I’m not gonna meet someone like Diane Court at a kegger. I mean this girl was different, man. When we’d go out, we wouldn’t even have to go out. We’d just hang out. This girl made me trust myself. I was walking around, feeling satisfied, can you imagine that? But then she cuts me loose. I dont know why, she wont tell me why. Maybe its because of her father, I dont know. She won’t talk to me. Won’t look at me!
Lloyd: The rain on my car is a baptism. The new me. Iceman. Power Lloyd. My assault on the world begins now. Believe in myself. Answer to no one.
Lloyd: This is it. The site of our controversial first date. I met her at a mall. Should’ve known our relationship was doomed. To our left, we have…..the street where she broke up with me. And there’s the path we took.
Diane: I love you.
Diane: I love you. How many more times do I have to say it?
Lloyd: One more time would be nice.
Diane: I love you. Please? I love you.
Lloyd: One question: are you here because you need someone, or you need me? Forget it, I don’t care.
Diane: I need you.
Lloyd: Hey my brother? Can I borrow a copy of your “Hey Soul Classics”?
J-Man: No my brother, you have to go buy your own.
Diane: I blew it. I called him basic. Can you believe I did that?
Lloyd: Maybe I didn’t really know you. Maybe you were just a mirage. Maybe the world is full of food and sex and spectacle and we’re all just hurling towards an acropolis, in which case it’s not your fault. I’m been thinking about all these things and….you’re probably standing there monitoring. And one more thing — about the letter. Nuke it, flame it, destroy it — it hurts me to know it’s out there. Later.
Corey: Did you see what Mr. Carroll wrote in my yearbook? Well he ridiculed me all year and he writes “you’re a real live wire.” Love Mr. Carroll.
Diane: So what’s your job this summer?
Lloyd: Being a great date.
Diane: No, I’m serious.
Lloyd: So am I. I wanna see you again; I wanna see you as much as I can before you leave. There I said it.
Lloyd: Just knowing that a version like that exists, knowing that just for a minute she felt that and wrote I can’t help loving you. That has to be worth something.
Lloyd: I’m gonna take Diane Court out again.
Corey: Well that’s unlikely.
Lloyd: Is the movies a good second date, you know? As a date?
Corey: Well you never had a first date.
Lloyd: Yes we did. I sat across from her at a mall. We ate together. We ate. That’s eating. Sharing an important physical event.
Corey: That’s not even a scam.
Lloyd: What’s a scam?
Corey: Going out as friends.
DC: No its not. Scam is lusting.
Lloyd & Corey: Then what’s a date?
DC: Date is a prearrangement. With a possibility for love.
Corey: Then what’s love?
Joe: Lloyd, man, no babe is worth it. Yo, hang with us man. We’ll teach you Bibles full of truth.
Denny: Man, all you gotta do is find a girl that looks just like her, nail her, and then dump her, man. Get her off your mind.
Mark: Your only mistake is that you didn’t dump her first. Diane Court is a show pony. You need a stallion, my friend. Walk with us, and you walk tall.
Corey: You’re such a great person, Lloyd. I’m a good person, but you are a great person.
DC: Why don’t you just call her again?
Lloyd: I draw the line at seven unreturned phone calls.
Corey: So I’m single now, and everything’s changed. I hate it.
Lloyd: What I really want to do – what I want to do for a living – is I want to be with your daughter. I’m good at it.
Lloyd: Joe! Joe! She’s written 65 songs. 65. They’re all about you. They’re all about pain.
Joe: So what’s up?
Lloyd: So stop freaking with her head, man. Quit playing with her mind, you know? She’s a human being, she’s a person. She’s very talented.
Joe: Dude, why do you think I keep her tapes? They’re gonna be valuable someday.