Corey: So I’m single now, and everything’s changed. I hate it.
Lloyd: What I really want to do – what I want to do for a living – is I want to be with your daughter. I’m good at it.
Lloyd: Joe! Joe! She’s written 65 songs. 65. They’re all about you. They’re all about pain.
Joe: So what’s up?
Lloyd: So stop freaking with her head, man. Quit playing with her mind, you know? She’s a human being, she’s a person. She’s very talented.
Joe: Dude, why do you think I keep her tapes? They’re gonna be valuable someday.
Rebecca: Hey, I know this is a strange thing to say, but maybe Diane Court really likes Lloyd.
Corey: If you were Diane Court, would you honestly fall for Lloyd?…Yeah.
Lloyd: Get in a good mood. How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood and be in a good mood?
Corey: (reads letter from Lloyd to Diane) ‘Diane, I’ll always be there. All the love in my heart, Lloyd.'(long pause) I’ve never gotten a letter like this, have you?
DC: I dream about it.
Lloyd: So what do you think? Is it….is it?
Corey: Get ready for greatness Lloyd!
Lloyd (giving his number to Diane’s father): Lloyd Dobler, 555-1342; 5..5..5..1342. 555-1342.
Diane: Nobody knew me before tonight.
Lloyd: They knew of you. Now they know you.
Lloyd: I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen.
Lloyd: Quick question: do you know who I am?
Diane: Yeah, we sat together at Bell Square.
Lloyd: Yeah, yeah, so you remember?
Diane: No, I read it in the message.
Lloyd: Okay, so its Lloyd, and, uh..uh..let’s go out. You wanna go out?
Lloyd: You two are amazing, you know? The way you talk. I’m like that with….I’m not even like that with anybody.
Corey: Brains stick with brains. The bomb could go off and their mutant genes would form the same cliques.
Lloyd: So you’re like monumentally busy?
Diane: Well, no. Not monumentally.
Mr. Court: What are your plans for the future?
Lloyd: To spend as much time possible with Diane before she leaves.
Mr. Court: Seriously Lloyd.
Lloyd: I’m totally and completely serious.
Constance: Why do you eat that stuff? There’s no food in your food.
Mike Cameron: This is one fresh jam. Listen, God, I dont know you very well, but I wanted to ask you: how’d you get Diane Court to go out with you?
Lloyd: I called her up.
Mike: Yeah, but how come it worked? I mean, like, what are you?
Lloyd: I’m Lloyd Dobler.
Mike: This is great. This gives me hope. Thanks.
Diane: You dont like old people?
Lloyd: Me? Sure I do.
Diane: Come on.
Lloyd: Well, except for one thing. I worked at a smorgasbord, and the old people would flock there, and they loved to eat, and they’d just jam their mouths, you know? And they’d just eat with their mouths open, and to be honest, it was too much for me. You get to be thinking about how short life is, and how maybe everything has no meaning, because you wake up, and you’re frying burgers, and you’re like 60, 70, and then you check out, you know? What are you doing? And I dont need to be thinking about those kind of things. Thats the reason……But I’m not sure about all that.
Diane: I think that’s ageism, and that’s being prejudiced against people because they’re old.
Lloyd: Really? Well, you’re really turning me around here.
Diane Court: Nobody thinks it will work, do they?
Lloyd Dobler: No. You just described every great success story.
Lloyd: A career? I’ve thought about this quite a bit sir and I would have to say considering what’s waiting out there for me, I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed or buy anything sold or processed or repair anything sold, bought or processed as a career. I don’t want to do that. My father’s in the army. He wants me to join, but I can’t work for that corporation, so what I’ve been doing lately is kick-boxing, which is a new sport…as far as career longevity, I don’t really know. I can’t figure it all out tonight, sir, so I’m just gonna hang with your daughter.
Corey: Did you sleep with her?
Lloyd: I admit nothing.
DC: Lloyd, it’s us.
Corey: Look at his face! He did the deed.
DC: You’re an inspiration, Lloyd. You should go on the 700 Club or something.
Lloyd Dobler: I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you’re here at like the Gas ‘n’ Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?
Joe: By choice, man!
Diane: I have this theory of convergence, that good things always happen with bad things. I know you have to deal with them at the same time, but I just dont know why they have to happen at the same time. I just wish I could work out some schedule. Am I just babbling? Do you know what I mean?
Corey: Lloyd, listen to me, everything has changed. You had sex. No matter what you might think, nothing will ever be the same between you two. You might be 60, you might be walking down the street, and you’ll talk to her about something, whatever. But what you’ll be really thinking is: we had sex.
Corey: You’re not a guy.
Lloyd: I am.
Corey: No. The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don’t be a guy.
Diane: I just cant have any social life right now.
Lloyd: Don’t worry about it. We’re just having coffee. We’ll be anti-social.
Diane: Be friends?
Lloyd: Yeah. With potential.