Jayne: We’re gonna explode? I don’t wanna explode!
The Operative: I have to say, Captain, I’m impressed that you would come for her yourself. And that you would make it this far, in that outfit.
Mal: I can be very graceful when I need to.
The Operative: I’ve no doubt.
Mal: I don’t plan on any shooting taking place during this job.
Jayne: Yeah, well what you plan and what takes place ain’t ever exactly been similar.
The Operative: That girl will rain destruction down on you and your ship. She is an albatross, Captain.
Mal: The way I remember it, albatross was a ship’s good luck, ’til some idiot killed it. Yes, I’ve read a poem. Try not to faint.
Zoe: Those grenades?
Jayne: Yeah, Captain doesn’t want them.
Zoe: Jayne, we’re robbing the place. We’re not occupying it.
Mal: I never credited the Alliance with an overabundance of brains, and if you’re the best they’ve got.
The Operative: Captain Reynolds, I should tell you so you don’t waste your time: you cannot make me angry.
Inara: Please, spend an hour with him.
Zoe: We crashing again?
Mal: Do you want to run this ship?
Mal: Well…you can’t!
Mal: You told me those entry couplings would hold for another week!
Kaylee: That was six months ago, Cap’n.
Wash: I am a leaf on the wind… watch how I soar.
Simon: She is not going with you, and that’s final.
Mal: I hear the words “that’s final” come out your mouth ever again, they truly will be.
Mal: This report is maybe twelve years old. Parliament buried it, and it stayed buried till River dug it up. This is what they feared she knew. And they were right to fear, ’cause there’s a whole universe of folk who are gonna know it too. They’re gonna see it. Somebody has to speak for these people.
Simon: Now River, stay behind the others. If there’s fighting, drop to the floor or run away. It’s okay to leave them to die.
Mal: Doctor. I’m taking your sister under my protection here. If anything happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you — I will get very choked up. Honestly. There could be tears.
Simon: In all that time on the ship… I’ve always regretted not being with you.
Kaylee: With me? You mean to say, as in sex?
Simon: I mean to say.
Kaylee: Hell with this. I’m gonna live!
Jayne: Shiny! Let’s be bad guys.
The Operative: Do you know what your sin is, Mal?
Mal: Oh hell, I’m a fan of all seven. But right now, I’m gonna have to go with wrath.
Zoe: Do you know what the definition of a hero is? Someone who gets other people killed. You can look it up later.
The Operative: You’ve done remarkable things, but you’re fighting a war you’ve already lost.
Mal: Yeah, well I’m known for that.
Jayne: I’ll kill a man in a fair fight, or if I think he’s gonna start a fair fight… If he bothers me, or if there’s a woman… Or if I’m gettin’ paid. Mostly only when I’m gettin’ paid.
Mal: I’m gonna show you a world without sin.
The Operative: You know, in certain older civilized cultures, when men failed as entirely as you have, they would throw themselves on their swords.
Dr. Mathias: Well, unfortunately, I forgot to bring a sword.
Kaylee: We’re on a year now, I ain’t had nothing ‘twixt my nethers weren’t run on batteries.
Mal: Oh, God! I can’t know that!
Jayne: I could stand to hear a little more.
Mal: Think she’ll hold together?
Zoe: She’s tore up plenty, but she’ll fly true.
The Operative: Would you be killed in your sleep, like an ailing pet?
Mal: I believe you got some storytelling to do. What in the hell happened back there?
Wash: Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90-pound girl, ’cause I don’t think that’s ever getting old.