Justin: That’s right. Didn’t score on me last half won’t score on this half. I’m a ninja. Ninja Goalie.

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Olivia: We could double. I’m sure Eunice is available.
Eunice: I am so there, it’s insane.

Malcolm: I am convinced he’s hiding something.
Principal Gold: Oh, nonsense, Malcolm. He may be a little lost and confused, but deep down he’s an all-american, red-blooded male, just like yourself.
Viola: [walking by, dressed as Sebastian, while on the phone] Mom, I will pick out my own dress. And no, I will not wear high heels. Because heels are a male invention designed to make women’s butts look smaller… and to make it harder for them to runaway.
Principal Gold: Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels?
Malcolm: No, sir, I…
Principal Gold: Not that easy. Not that easy…

Viola: What does your heart tell you?
Duke: What?
Viola: I mean… which one would you rather see NAKED?

Roger (after Viola lifts her shirt): Is it me or does this soccer game have more nudity than most?

Duke: Hey… hey, why do you have tampons in your boot?
Viola: Uhh… I get really bad nosebleeds.
Andrew: So you stick them up your nose?
Viola: Yeah. What? You… you’ve never done that? Oh my god, Beckham does it all the time.
Duke: Seriously?
Viola: Yes. Look. Got to show you how to do it. You take that off, and whatever that is, and you stick it right in. It absorbs right up.