Monique: Hello, Viola.
Viola: Oh, boy. This isn’t good.
Monique: And hello to you little… homewrecker.
Olivia: Uh, who are you?
Monique: I am Sebastian’s girlfriend.
Viola: Ex-Girl-Friend.
Monique: Okay. Everyone’s gotta stop saying that.
Olivia: Oh. You’re the girl he dumped in the pizza parlor the other day.
Monique: He did not dump me. We’re just going through a rough patch.
Olivia: Really? ‘Cause I heard he dumped you. He dumped you good. It was like a big, huge dumping.

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Toby: How come when I wanted to ask Eunice out everyone made fun of me, but then Sebastian likes her and suddenly she’s cool? Screw you guys. I hate high school.

Viola (as Sebastian): Quit blushing… that’s lame.
Duke: Shut up, I’m not blushing!

Justin: That’s right. Didn’t score on me last half won’t score on this half. I’m a ninja. Ninja Goalie.

Sebastian: Folks, I’m a boy. I promise.
Malcolm: Prove it.
Sebastian: Okay.
(pulls down his soccer shorts, everyone sees his privates)

Duke: Um, uh, ok, so, should I ask her out?
Viola: No. You don’t want to freak her out; you’ve got to have a casual conversation first, hello?
Viola: Why do I get the feeling you don’t do this very often?
Duke: Man, I just, I’m not really good at talking to girls.
Viola: Why? You’re hot!
Duke: What?
Viola: Ya know, you’re an appealing guy- man- guy- guy man.