Viola (as Sebastian): I can do this. I am a dude. I am a hunky dude! I’m a badass hunky dude!

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Duke: Um, uh, ok, so, should I ask her out?
Viola: No. You don’t want to freak her out; you’ve got to have a casual conversation first, hello?
Viola: Why do I get the feeling you don’t do this very often?
Duke: Man, I just, I’m not really good at talking to girls.
Viola: Why? You’re hot!
Duke: What?
Viola: Ya know, you’re an appealing guy- man- guy- guy man.

Sebastian: Folks, I’m a boy. I promise.
Malcolm: Prove it.
Sebastian: Okay.
(pulls down his soccer shorts, everyone sees his privates)

Olivia: You’re right.
Viola: I know.
Olivia: The next time I see Sebastian, I am gonna march right up to him…
Viola: You march.
Olivia: …I’m gonna tell him how I feel…
Viola: You tell him.
Olivia: …and then I’m going to kiss him so passionately…
Viola: What?
Olivia: …that even the people he hates will feel pleasure.

Duke: You know, it’s crazy how wrong you can be about a person. Just crazy. You think that they are one thing and then they turn out to be the exact opposite. You know what? Save it. We were supposed to be friends.
Viola: We are friends.
Duke: You don’t even know the meaning of the word.

Viola: I just can’t do this.
Paul: Just remember, inside every girl, there’s a boy. Wait, that sounded wrong.