Shrek: Ogres are like onions.
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes. No.
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry.
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Oh, you leave em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little white hairs.
Shrek: No. Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions.

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Magic Mirror: Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy.

Soldier: What have we here?
Old man: It’s a little wooden puppet.
Pinocchio: I’m not a puppet! I’m a real boy! (nose stretches)
Soldier: Ten shillings for the possessed toy. Take him away!

Donkey: I just know, before this is over, I’m gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin’.

Donkey: Wow, that was really scary, and if you don’t mind me saying, if that don’t work, your breath will certainly get the job done, ’cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something ’cause your breath stinks.

Lord Farquaad: Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.