Shrek: Ogres are like onions.
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes. No.
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry.
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Oh, you leave em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little white hairs.
Shrek: No. Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions.

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Lord Farquaad: Now really, it’s rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding?

Donkey: Can I stay with you? Please?
Shrek: Of course.
Donkey: Really?
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Please. I don’t wanna go back there. You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak… Well, maybe you do, but that’s why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!

Shrek: Fiona? Are you all right?
Princess Fiona: Yes. But, I don’t understand. I’m supposed to be beautiful.
Shrek: But you are beautiful.

Donkey: This’ll be fun. We’ll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning… I’m making waffles.

Little singing dolls:
Please keep off of the grass
wipe your shoes, wipe your… face
Dulac is, Dulac is,
Dulac is a peeeeerfeeeect plaaaaace!