Donkey: So where is this fire-breathin’ pain in the neck, anyway?
Shrek: In the tower, waiting for us to rescue her.
Donkey: I was talkin’ about the dragon, Shrek.

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Princess Fiona: The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.
Shrek: Uh, no.
Princess Fiona: Why not?
Shrek: I have helmet hair.
Princess Fiona: Please. I would’st look upon the face of my rescuer.
Shrek: Oh, no, you wouldn’t… tst.
Princess Fiona: But… how will you kiss me?
Shrek: What? That wasn’t in the job description.
The Donkey: Maybe it’s a perk.

Donkey: You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now.

Gingerbread Man: No! Not the buttons! Not the gumdrop buttons!

Donkey: Don’t die, Shrek. And if you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light.

Shrek: Well it’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.
The Donkey: Wow, only a true friend would be that truely honest.