Princess Fiona: The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.
Shrek: Uh, no.
Princess Fiona: Why not?
Shrek: I have helmet hair.
Princess Fiona: Please. I would’st look upon the face of my rescuer.
Shrek: Oh, no, you wouldn’t… tst.
Princess Fiona: But… how will you kiss me?
Shrek: What? That wasn’t in the job description.
The Donkey: Maybe it’s a perk.

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Donkey: This’ll be fun. We’ll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning… I’m making waffles.

Little singing dolls:
Please keep off of the grass
wipe your shoes, wipe your… face
Dulac is, Dulac is,
Dulac is a peeeeerfeeeect plaaaaace!

Magic Mirror: Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy.

Soldier: What have we here?
Old man: It’s a little wooden puppet.
Pinocchio: I’m not a puppet! I’m a real boy! (nose stretches)
Soldier: Ten shillings for the possessed toy. Take him away!

Donkey: I just know, before this is over, I’m gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin’.