Helen: I kissed you.
James: You noticed that too?
Helen: Could you just put that down to a lapse in concentration?
James: Is that what it was?
Helen: No. Yes. Ohhh I don’t know.
James: Listen, Helen, I don’t want to be a complication in your life. I just that something’s happened to me since I met you that I just wasn’t expecting. I just.. I just wasn’t expecting to feel like… Repetition of ‘expeting’ must buy a thesaurus.

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James: Helen, sometimes God puts us with people just to cheer them up. I mean, I’m having a good time out with a moderatly attractive woman, but that’s it. I’m not looking to overstep my bounds…. by the way, do you prefer diamonds or sapphires? Oops. Sorry.
Helen: Moderately attractive?
James: See? I knew you were paying attention! I don’t know, lose the sad mouth, the meloncholy expression and I could get you an upgrade.

Russell: So let me get this straight, Helen walked in on you and Lydia and she won’t talk to you and Lydia’s broken up with you.
Gerry: Yeah. What happend?
Russell: Well, to use boxing parlance if I may. Son, you just lost.

Gerry: You did remember to take out an ad in “Adulterers Weekly”?

Helen: Who are you on the rebound from?
James: A girl called Pamela. It was 1974. We were eight. She left me for Gary Glitter. Gary Glitter!! All the other fellows were getting left for Greg Brady and Donny Osmond. I mean, I could have come to terms with that, given time, but Gary Glitter?? Oh she wanted to touch him there, yeah.

James: What are you doing Saturday?
Helen: Probably killing myself.
James: Excellent. What time does that finish? Do you like boats?