Truvy: I kind of like hiring somebody with a past.
Clairee: She can’t be more than eighteen. She hasn’t had time to have a past.
Truvy: Oh get with it, Clairee. This is the eighties. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past.

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Annelle Dupuy Desoto: Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair.

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Ouiser Boudreaux: I’m not crazy, I’ve just been a very bad mood for the last 40 years!