Ouiser: I don’t see plays, ’cause I can nap at home for free. And I dont see movies ’cause they’re trash, and they ain’t got nothin’ but naked people in ’em! And I don’t read books, ’cause if they’re any good they’re gonna make ’em into a miniseries.

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Clairee: I’ve just been to the dedication of the new children’s park.
Truvy: Yeah, how did that go?
Clairee: Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. It was fabulous.
Truvy: Was she hurt?
Clairee: I doubt it. She got hit in the head.

Truvy: In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight.

Truvy: Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marchin’ across your face.

Shelby: Pink is my signature color.

Ouiser: I am just about at the end of my rope with you.
Drum: Well, then why don’t you tie a noose and slip it ’round your head?