Clairee Belcher: Well, you know what they say: if you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!

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Ouiser Boudreaux: I’m not crazy, I’ve just been a very bad mood for the last 40 years!

Ouiser: He’s a real gentleman, I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it.

Clairee Belcher: The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.

Nancy (referring to Shelby’s new husband): That Jackson is one big hangin’ man.
Shelby: Yes, I know.

Shelby: I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.