Truvy: I’m just screamin’ at my husband; I can do that any time.

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Truvy: I kind of like hiring somebody with a past.
Clairee: She can’t be more than eighteen. She hasn’t had time to have a past.
Truvy: Oh get with it, Clairee. This is the eighties. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past.

Ouiser: I don’t see plays, ’cause I can nap at home for free. And I dont see movies ’cause they’re trash, and they ain’t got nothin’ but naked people in ’em! And I don’t read books, ’cause if they’re any good they’re gonna make ’em into a miniseries.

Ouiser: This is it, I’ve found it, I’m in hell.

Truvy: When it comes to pain and suffering, she’s right up there with Elizabeth Taylor.

Annelle Dupuy Desoto: Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair.