Ouiser Boudreaux: I’m not crazy, I’ve just been a very bad mood for the last 40 years!

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Clairee Belcher: Well, you know what they say: if you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!

Truvy: I’m just screamin’ at my husband; I can do that any time.

Clairee Belcher: They were both high. They’d been smokin’ everything but their shoes.

Ouiser: He’s a real gentleman, I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it.

Clairee Belcher: The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.