Ouiser: He’s a real gentleman, I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it.

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Shelby: I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.

Clairee: I’ve just been to the dedication of the new children’s park.
Truvy: Yeah, how did that go?
Clairee: Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. It was fabulous.
Truvy: Was she hurt?
Clairee: I doubt it. She got hit in the head.

Sammy: I’d rather eat dirt!

Truvy: In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight.

Truvy: Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marchin’ across your face.