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Jake: Well, how about you say “Hi honey, lookin’ good. How’s the family?”
Melanie Carmichael: You expect me to tell you look good? What, did they run out of soap at the Piggly Wiggly since I left?

Mayor Kate Hennings: (smacks mosquito) One down, a six million to go.
Earl Smooter: Careful, you just killed the state bird of Alabama!