Jake: Whatever blows your dress up, darlin’. You go right ahead and spend your money.
Melanie Carmichael: Oh, but darlin’, I thought you said we should think of it as “our money.” Just a guess: The words “joint checking” are flashing in your head right now.

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Jake: How can I help you?
Melanie: Well, for starters you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce!

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Melanie: So I can kiss you anytime I want.

Melanie: The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back.

Melanie Carmichael: You’re the first boy I ever kissed, Jake, and I want you to be the last.