Melanie Carmichael: And don’t even pretend like you missed me.
Jake: Oh, I missed you all right, but at this range, my aim is bound to improve.

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Melanie: The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back.

Melanie Carmichael: You’re the first boy I ever kissed, Jake, and I want you to be the last.

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Melanie Carmichael: You dumb stubborn redneck hick.

Melanie Carmichael: Oh why don’t you just go to a gay bar, Bobby Ray?
Clinton: Now, what would Bobby Ray be doing in a gay bar?