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More from Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-Shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I’m here to party.

Ricky Bobby: I’m just a big hairy American winning machine, you know?

PA Announcer: Girard is sitting on the pole, which is a statement of fact and in no way a comment on his sexual orientation.

Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.

Ricky Bobby: Wait, Dad. Don’t you remember the time you told me “If you ain’t first, you’re last”?
Reese Bobby: Huh? What are you talking about, Son?
Ricky Bobby: That day at school.
Reese Bobby: Oh hell, Son, I was high that day. That doesn’t make any sense at all, you can be second, third, fourth… hell you can even be fifth.
Ricky Bobby: What? I’ve lived my whole life by that!