Chip: Are you just going to let your sons talk to their grandfather like this?
Ricky Bobby: Hell yes I am! They are winners! That is how winners talk!
Carley Bobby: If we wanted two little girls, we would have named them Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman!

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More from Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

PA Announcer: Girard is sitting on the pole, which is a statement of fact and in no way a comment on his sexual orientation.

Reese Bobby: Yep, I guess things are just about perfect… it’s making me feel kind of itchy.
Ricky Bobby: How ’bout we go get kicked out of an Applebee’s?

Ricky Bobby: Wait, Dad. Don’t you remember the time you told me “If you ain’t first, you’re last”?
Reese Bobby: Huh? What are you talking about, Son?
Ricky Bobby: That day at school.
Reese Bobby: Oh hell, Son, I was high that day. That doesn’t make any sense at all, you can be second, third, fourth… hell you can even be fifth.
Ricky Bobby: What? I’ve lived my whole life by that!

Cal Naughton, Jr.: I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.

Ricky Bobby: I’ve sent in my application to the Real World. So I’m hoping to hear back from that. I’m putting a lot of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. I’m also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not like a mean crack dealer, but like… like a nice one. Kinda friendly like, “hey, what’s up guys? Want some crack?” I’m just waiting on those two things to flesh themselves out.