Sydney: Two hundred pairs of eyes are focused on you right now, with two questions: “Who’s this girl, and why is the President dancing with her?”
Sheperd: First of all, the 200 pairs of eyes aren’t focused on me. They’re focused on you. And the answers are “Sydney Ellen Wade” and “Because she said ‘yes.'”
Lewis: I tell any girl I’m going out with to assume that all plans are soft until she receives confirmation 30 minutes beforehand.
Robin: And they find this romantic?
Lewis: Well, I say it with a great deal of charm.
Sheperd: I want to send some flowers, Janie. I want to do it myself. I don’t want to staff it out, and I don’t want to issue an Executive Order. I just want a phone number.
Sheperd: I gotta get her flowers.
Sheperd: I broke our date. This is what men do.
Robin: It’s not what men do. I know no men who do that.
Sheperd: Janie, make a note. We need to schedule more events where somebody gives me a really big fish.
Janie: Yes, sir.
Sheperd: Janie, I was kidding.
Janie: Of course, sir.
Lewis: Who are we calling, sir?
Sheperd: I’m calling the Organization of the United Brotherhood of It’s-None-of-Your-Damn-Business, Lewis. I’ll be with you in a minute.
Sydney: What do Lewis and Robin think?
Sheperd: Brutus and Cassius? They want me to get into the character debate and mix it up.
Sydney: Lewis and Robin are very smart.
Sheperd: Sydney says you guys are really stupid.
Sydney: I didn’t say that!
Sheperd: She’s questioning your loyalty.
Lewis: Hell, I question it all the time.
Sheperd: Lewis, however much coffee you drink in the morning, I want you to reduce it by half.
Lewis: I don’t drink coffee.
Sheperd: Then hit yourself over the head with a baseball bat, would you please?
Sydney: Leo Solomon has serious concerns about my exploring a social, you know, scenario, with the President of the United States.
Sheperd: Yeah, well, when you put it that way, it doesn’t sound that great to me either.
Sydney: How can you keep quiet? How do you have patience for people who claim they love America but clearly can’t stand Americans?
Lewis: Can I just say, to return to the subject for one moment, that it might be easier to fight a war on drugs if we weren’t arming drug dealers?
Sheperd: Lewis, we’ve gotta fight the fights we can win.
Sydney: Your dad says you’re studying the Constitutional Convention.
Sheperd: She’s not having any fun, though.
Sydney: You’re not having fun?
Lucy: This is a nightmare. This is a social studies nightmare.
Sydney: I want to say something, but I’m gonna fumble it a little bit, so I’d just like you to wait till I’m done before you respond. I’m in love with you. I’m certain of it. And I want to be with you more than anything. But maybe things would be better for you if I disappeared for a while.
Sheperd: Things will be better when I pass a crime bill. And Sydney, if you disappeared, I’d find you.
Sheperd: No, keep going. I liked what you were playing. What’s it called?
Sheperd: Well… you play it with gusto!
Sydney: She’s wonderful.
Sheperd: She’s her mother.
Sydney: She’s you.
Gill: Mr. President, militant women are out to destroy college football in this country.
Sheperd: Is that a fact?
Lucy: Do you see it as part of your job to torture me?
Sheperd: No, it’s just one of the perks. See you tonight.
Rumson: Mr. Shepherd’s read a lot of books, but you didn’t need a Harvard degree to see this comin’ a mile down the road.
Sheperd: I went to Stanford, you blowhole.
Gill: I’m saying these women want that law enforced.
Sheperd: Well, it’s a world gone mad, Gill.
Sydney: Forgive me, this is my first time at the White House. I’m trying to savor the Capra-esque quality.
Susan: He doesn’t know what Capra-esque means.
Guard: Yeah, I do. Frank Capra, great American director — It’s a Wonderful Life, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. Sydney Ellen Wade of Virginia. Knock ’em dead.
Sydney: I kissed him.
Sydney: On the mouth.
Beth: Where in the White House?
Kodak: Well, I could explain it better, but I’d need charts and graphs and an easel.
Sydney: Mr. President, I’m…don’t know what to say. I’m speechless.
Sheperd: All evidence to the contrary.
Sydney: I’ve gotta nip this in the bud. This has catastrophe written all over it.
Beth: In what language?! Sydney, this man is the leader of the free world. He’s brilliant, he’s funny, he’s handsome, and he’s an above-average dancer. Isn’t it possible our standards are just a tad high?
Robin: Fellas, we haven’t slept in three years. Can’t we forget work for one night and take this moment to enjoy each other as friends? It’s Christmas.
Lewis: It’s Christmas?
Kodak: Yeah, you didn’t get the memo?