Sheperd: Lewis, however much coffee you drink in the morning, I want you to reduce it by half.
Lewis: I don’t drink coffee.
Sheperd: Then hit yourself over the head with a baseball bat, would you please?

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More from The American President

Sheperd: No, keep going. I liked what you were playing. What’s it called?
Lucy: Scales.
Sheperd: Well… you play it with gusto!

Sydney: She’s wonderful.
Sheperd: She’s her mother.
Sydney: She’s you.

Gill: Mr. President, militant women are out to destroy college football in this country.
Sheperd: Is that a fact?

Lucy: Do you see it as part of your job to torture me?
Sheperd: No, it’s just one of the perks. See you tonight.

Rumson: Mr. Shepherd’s read a lot of books, but you didn’t need a Harvard degree to see this comin’ a mile down the road.
Sheperd: I went to Stanford, you blowhole.