Sheperd: Let me see if I’ve got this: The third story on the news tonight was that someone I didn’t know 13 years ago, when I wasn’t President, participated in a demonstration where no laws were being broken in protest of something that so many people were against it doesn’t exist anymore? Just out of curiosity, what was the fourth story?

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Sheperd: Janie, make a note. We need to schedule more events where somebody gives me a really big fish.
Janie: Yes, sir.
Sheperd: Janie, I was kidding.
Janie: Of course, sir.

Lewis: Who are we calling, sir?
Sheperd: I’m calling the Organization of the United Brotherhood of It’s-None-of-Your-Damn-Business, Lewis. I’ll be with you in a minute.

Sydney: How can you keep quiet? How do you have patience for people who claim they love America but clearly can’t stand Americans?

Sheperd: Lewis, however much coffee you drink in the morning, I want you to reduce it by half.
Lewis: I don’t drink coffee.
Sheperd: Then hit yourself over the head with a baseball bat, would you please?

Sydney: Leo Solomon has serious concerns about my exploring a social, you know, scenario, with the President of the United States.
Sheperd: Yeah, well, when you put it that way, it doesn’t sound that great to me either.