Sheperd: I feel terrible, but I have to cancel our date tonight.
Sydney: Another woman?
Sheperd: No, I’ve gotta go to St. Louis and avert a massive airline strike.
Sydney: Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that one.

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More from The American President

Sydney: What do Lewis and Robin think?
Sheperd: Brutus and Cassius? They want me to get into the character debate and mix it up.
Sydney: Lewis and Robin are very smart.
Sheperd: Sydney says you guys are really stupid.
Sydney: I didn’t say that!
Sheperd: She’s questioning your loyalty.
Lewis: Hell, I question it all the time.

Sheperd: Janie, make a note. We need to schedule more events where somebody gives me a really big fish.
Janie: Yes, sir.
Sheperd: Janie, I was kidding.
Janie: Of course, sir.

Lewis: Who are we calling, sir?
Sheperd: I’m calling the Organization of the United Brotherhood of It’s-None-of-Your-Damn-Business, Lewis. I’ll be with you in a minute.

Sydney: How can you keep quiet? How do you have patience for people who claim they love America but clearly can’t stand Americans?

Sheperd: Lewis, however much coffee you drink in the morning, I want you to reduce it by half.
Lewis: I don’t drink coffee.
Sheperd: Then hit yourself over the head with a baseball bat, would you please?