Sydney: How can you keep quiet? How do you have patience for people who claim they love America but clearly can’t stand Americans?

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Sheperd: Douglas, does the N.R.A. have videotapes of you playing golf with Satan?

Sheperd: Uhh…this isn’t Richard, it’s Andrew Shepherd.
Sydney: Oh, really. Well, I’m so glad you called, because I forgot to tell you today what a nice ass you have. I’m also impressed that you were able to get my phone number, considering I don’t have a phone. Good night, Richard.

Sheperd: I studied under a Nobel-Prize-Winning economist. You know what he taught me?
A.J.: Don’t have a airline strike at Christmas?
Sheperd: Yeah. I’m going to St. Louis.

Sydney: Mr. President, I’m sure there’s an appropriate thing to say at this moment. Probably some formal apology for the nice-ass remark would be in order. I just don’t quite know how to word it.

Sheperd: Let me see if I’ve got this: The third story on the news tonight was that someone I didn’t know 13 years ago, when I wasn’t President, participated in a demonstration where no laws were being broken in protest of something that so many people were against it doesn’t exist anymore? Just out of curiosity, what was the fourth story?