Paul Smecker: First of all, I’d like to thank whichever one of you donut-munching, barrel-assed, pud-pulling sissies leaked this to the press. That’s all we need now: some sensational story in the papers making these guys out to be superheroes, triumphing over evil. Let me squash the rumors right now: These two are not heroes. They’re just two ordinary men who were put in an extraordinary situation and just happened to come out on top. Yes, nothing from our far-reaching computer system has turned up diddly on these two. All we know is what we found out from the neighbors, and the general consensus is, they’re angels. But angels don’t kill. And we have two bodies in the morgue that look like they’ve been “serial-crushed by some huge friggin’ guy”.
Connor: Now you will receive us.
Murphy: We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.
Connor: We do not want your tired and sick.
Murphy: It is your corrupt we claim.
Connor: It is your evil that will be sought by us.
Murphy: With every breath, we shall hunt them down.
Connor: Each day we will spill their blood, ’til it rains down from the skies.
Murphy: Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.
Connor: These are not polite suggestions, these are codes of behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.
Murphy: There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth, not to push the bounds and cross over, in to true corruption, into our domain.
Connor: For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three, and on that day you will reap it.
Murphy: And we will send you to whatever god you wish.
Connor, Murphy: And shepherds we shall be, for Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand…
Il Duce: …that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow a river forth unto Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be, In Nomine Patris, Et Filii, Et Spiritus Sancti.
Connor: How far are we going to take this, Da?
Il Duce: The question is not how far. The question is do you posess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far as is needed?
David del Rocco: I’ll catch you on the flip side.
Monsignor: And I am reminded, on this holy day, of the sad story of Kitty Genovese. As you all may remember, a long time ago, almost thirty years ago, this poor soul cried out for help time and time again, but no person answered her calls. Though many saw, no one so much as called the police. They all just watched as Kitty was being stabbed to death in broad daylight. They watched as her assailant walked away. Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men.
Connor: I do believe the monsignor’s finally got the point.
Il Duce: And whosoever shed man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed, for in the image of God made He man.
Paul Smecker: So you’re telling me it was one guy with six guns, and he was a senior frigging citizen?
Il Duce: Never shall innocent blood be shed, yet the blood of the wicked shall flow like a river. The Three shall spread their blackened wings and be the vengeful striking hammer of God.
Connor: Basically the rule of thumb here is…
Rosengurtie: Wait, rule of thumb? In the early 1900s it was legal for men to beat their wives, as long as they used a stick no wider than their thumb.
Connor: Well, can’t do much damage with that then, can we? Perhaps it should have been a rule of wrist?
Murphy: [at the police station] Is there any way that we could stay here?
Officer Chaffey: Uh, yeah, we have an extra holding cell, you guys could… Can they stay?
Paul Smecker: Well, we’ll have to check with your mom… But it’s okay with me if your friends sleep over.