Mike Brady: As a wise man once said, “Wherever you go, there you are.”
Marcia: Doug! I think I just felt your tongue in my mouth.
Doug: It’s called a french kiss.
Marcia: But I thought you were from Nebraska!
Mike Brady: Put on your Sunday best, kids, we’re going to Sears!
Charlie: Hey, I heard what you said, Doug, and I’m not gonna let you talk to Marcia like that.
Doug: Well, what are you gonna do about it, geek?
Charlie: I’m gonna… lose… consciousness…
Mike Brady: Our house is more important than money. This neighborhood is more important than money. Tell me. How many times have we borrowed each other’s power tools or patched up each other’s kids? We know so much about each other. I know that every January, Mr. Yeager is going to have that big Super Bowl party at his house. We know that every spring, Mrs. Simmons is going to have the prettiest daffodils on the block. We know that at 10:15 every Saturday morning, Mrs. Topping likes to walk through her living room naked. Call me old-fashioned, but these things are important, and they’re not for sale. This is our neighborhood, and we’re staying.
Marcia: Forget it, Doug. Even with a swollen nose, I can still smell a rat.
Mike: I couldn’t have put it better myself, Jan. But I’ll try anyway.
Bobby: Excuse me, officers, but I hate to ask a law enforcement official to bend the rules, especially for Penal Code 117, Section 33b, but our house is at stake.
Jan: Marsha Marsha Marsha!!