Richard Vernon: What if your home… what if your family… what if your dope was on fire?
John Bender: Impossible, sir. It’s in Johnson’s underwear.
Richard Vernon: What was that ruckus?
Andrew Clark: Uh, what ruckus?
Richard Vernon: I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus.
Brian Johnson: Could you describe the ruckus, sir?
Bender: Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?
Brian: No, Mr. Johnson.
Richard Vernon: Don’t mess with the bull, young man. You’ll get the horns.
Bender: I wanna be just like you. I figure all I need is a lobotomy and some tights.
Richard Vernon: The next time I have to come in here I’m crackin’ skulls.
Brian: The problem is, women can’t hold they smoke!
Bender: I wanna be an airborne ranger, I wanna be put in danger.
Bender: Show Dick some respect.
Bender: Being bad feels pretty good, huh?
Bender: Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
Alison: When you grow up, your heart dies.
Bender: Who cares.
Alison: I care.
Bender: How come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we’ll all get up, IT’LL BE ANARCHY!
Andrew: We’re all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that’s all.
Bender: Claire is a fat chick’s name.
Andrew: I’ve seen her dehydrated sir, its pretty gross.
Andrew: Two hits, me hitting you, you hitting the floor.
John Bender: Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.
John Bender: So it’s sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right?
Bender: You lost?
Bender: Remember how you said your parents use you to get back at each other? Wouldn’t I be outstanding in that capacity?
Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us… In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain…
Andrew Clark: …and an athlete…
Allison Reynolds: …and a basket case…
Claire Standish: …a princess…
John Bender: …and a criminal…
Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.