Brian: What do you know about trigonometry?
Bender: I don’t give a fuck about trigonometry.
Brian: Did you know without trigonometry, there’d be no engineering?
Bender: Without lamps, there’d be no light.

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Bender: Stupid. Worthless. No good goddamn freeloadin’ son of a bitch. Retarded, big-mouth, know-it-all asshole jerk. (pause) You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful….Shut up bitch! Go fix me turkey pot pie! What about you, Dad? Fuck you! No Dad, what about you? Fuck you! No Dad, WHAT ABOUT YOU? FUCK YOU!

Bender: Remember how you said your parents use you to get back at each other? Wouldn’t I be outstanding in that capacity?

Bender: Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?
Brian: No, Mr. Johnson.

Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us… In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain…
Andrew Clark: …and an athlete…
Allison Reynolds: …and a basket case…
Claire Standish: …a princess…
John Bender: …and a criminal…
Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.

Bender: I wanna be just like you. I figure all I need is a lobotomy and some tights.