Richard Vernon: The next time I have to come in here I’m crackin’ skulls.

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Richard Vernon: What if your home… what if your family… what if your dope was on fire?
John Bender: Impossible, sir. It’s in Johnson’s underwear.

Richard Vernon: What was that ruckus?
Andrew Clark: Uh, what ruckus?
Richard Vernon: I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus.
Brian Johnson: Could you describe the ruckus, sir?

Bender: Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?
Brian: No, Mr. Johnson.

Richard Vernon: Don’t mess with the bull, young man. You’ll get the horns.

Bender: I wanna be just like you. I figure all I need is a lobotomy and some tights.