The Tree: There is no immortality but a tree’s love.
Schmendrick the Magician: Oh god, I’m engaged to a douglas fir!
Schmendrick the Magician: Be rary of wousing a rizard’s wrath – rousing a rizard’s – Be wary of making a magician angry!
I am the only Unicorn there is? The last? That cannot be. Why would I be the last? What do Men know? Because they have seen no Unicorns for a while does not mean we have all vanished. We do not vanish! There’s never been a time without Unicorns. We live forever. We are as old as the sky; old as the moon. We can be hunted, trapped, we can even be killed if we leave our forests, but we do not vanish! Am I truly the last?
Schmendrick: The magic chose the shape, not I. I am a bearer, I am a dwelling, I am a messenger.
Molly: You are an idiot!
The Cat: No cat out of its first fur was ever deceived by appearances, unlike human beings, who seem to enjoy it.