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Felix Ungar: In other words, you’re saying you want me to leave?
Oscar Madison: Not in other words! Those are the perfect words!
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More from The Odd Couple
Murray: A suicide telegram? Who sends a suicide telegram?
Oscar Madison: Felix, the nut, that’s who! Can you imagine getting a thing like that? She even had to tip the kid a quarter.
Murray: A whole bottle of pills! My God, get an ambulance!
Oscar Madison: Wait a minute, will ya?! We don’t even know what kind!
Murray: What difference does it make?! He took a whole bottle!
Oscar Madison: Well, maybe they were vitamins! He could be the healthiest one in the room!
Murray: For God’s sake, do something. Say something.
Oscar Madison: What? What do you say to a man who’s crying in your bathroom?
Oscar Madison: Don’t point that finger at me unless you intend to use it.
Oscar Madison: I’m in for a quarter.
Murray: Aren’t you going to look at your cards first?
Oscar Madison: What for? I’m gonna bluff anyway.