Vizzini: Probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise, at night… in… eel-infested waters…
Prince Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work. But I’ve got my country’s 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. I’m swamped!
Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.
Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don’t by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Westley: Do you always begin conversations this way?
Count Rugen: As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. And really, that’s all this is, except that instead of sucking water, I’m sucking life. I’ve just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don’t know what that would do to you, so let’s just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so… be honest. How do you feel?
Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die.
Inigo Montoya: Do you hear that Fezzik? That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when the six-fingered man killed my father. The Man in Black makes it now.
Vizzini: Ha-ha, you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is “Never get involved in a land war in Asia,” but only slightly less well known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line!”
Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?
Miracle Max: The King’s stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you’re at it, why don’t you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We’re closed!
Buttercup: You mocked me once. Never do it again!
Miracle Max: Get back, witch!
Valerie: I’m not a witch, I’m your wife! And after what you just said, I’m not even sure I want to be that any more!
Westley: There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. ‘Twould be a pity to damage yours.
The Grandson: Grandpa, maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow?
Grandpa: As you wish.
Fezzik: Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?
Westley: Oh no. It’s just they’re terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.
Count Rugen: Have you been chasing me your whole life only to fail now? I think that’s the worst thing I ever heard…how marvelous.
Minister: Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togetha today.
Count Rugen: Good heavens, are you still trying to win? You’ve got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance, that’s going to get you in trouble someday.
Miracle Max: Whew-hoo, look who knows so much. This man is only MOSTLY dead, see there’s a difference between mostly dead, and all dead.
Inigo: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Westley: As you wish.
Valerie: Think it’ll work?
Miracle Max: It would take a miracle.
Vizzini: He didn’t fall? Inconceivable!
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Buttercup: We’ll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense, you only say that because nobody ever has.
Grandson: Is this a kissing book?
Inigo Montoya: My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Westley: Life is pain, Highness! Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.